I have been told that I have to understand that since white men won’t let black men be Men, it only makes sense that straight black men are sickened by the sight of queer black men, particularly those who are demonstrably feminine or otherwise make their queerness known. Always, the definition by which Manhood is ultimately defined is not some objective, pre-existing, immovable, biological, scientific standard (although they will attempt to convince you that it is), but rather some constructed, limiting, shifty, suspicious, patriarchal paradigm that defines Manhood as one’s ability to control, dominate, and exercise punitive power over those deemed “weaker,” and those deemed weaker are always those who are female and/or feminine. It is an inherently misogynistic foundation upon which this construct is built. Queer men are bothersome reminders of submission and castration because empowered women are bothersome reminders of the exact same thing.
The problem is patriarchy.
Excerpt from his essay Take the Shackles Off My Feet So I Can Dance*: A Call to End Gender Policing. READ THIS.
This is truly an exquisite read, revealing the pain and the absurdity that is patriarchy. While Black men have male privilege and are not subject to sexism in the way that Black women are, understanding how patriarchy (and White supremacy, no less) creates a teeny tiny space for masculinity to exist, boxing them in just as Black women are boxed in, (and the former is the catalyst for misogyny and homophobia in the first place) is truly important.