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October 2013

Can Single People Live?

"Can I live?" Can single people live? Can single people who are single by choice live? Can single people who are looking for a partner/partners live?  Can single people who weren’t single before and may or may not be in the future live?

Can asexual people live? Can asexual people who are single or not single live? Can heterosexual people who don’t want marriage live? Can LGBTQ people who want marriage not have the State stand in their way and deal with homophobia and transphobia? Can middle class White LGBTQ people understand that some PoC LGBTQ people have other things on their plate besides marriage? Can trans*, intersex and genderfluid people be single or coupled without being expected to perform norms based on gender essentialism and heterosexism to spec? Can married heterosexual people be happy without trying to police and shame (and in many cases oppress, as there’s a lot of privilege here) everyone else?

Can single Black women, especially moms stop being the blame for global warming and anything else on the mind of news/media/society? Can Black men stop assuming that Black women who reject patriarchy, intraracial sexism and misogynoir are all automatically heterosexual and seeking White men? Can White men stop assuming that any Black woman who isn’t with a Black man is automatically heterosexual and seeking a White man as some sort of Rx compared to Black men? Can women stop throwing their husbands in single women’s faces as if that’s a resume bullet? 

Can people recognize that sexuality and romantic love are privileged over other forms of love because in marriage, especially when heterosexual and White, it reinforces hegemony and benefits the State?

Can a single person have a bad day without it being related to their lack of sexual activity, if it applies? Do single people have to perform happiness 100% of the time and perform jealousy towards heterosexual couples to get them off of our backs?

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