I asked Whites (who were going to be ignorant, and not all will, but so many that disclaimers have to now be added to every post) to stay away from my posts regarding Renisha McBride. I know that their racism, their derailment and their little feelings about White supremacy, racism and White privilege being regularly critiqued in the age of social media by people that they are used to being able to ignore bothers them. However, I do not care. I asked them to leave me alone. Yet this person below decided to leave a comment on my post where I discussed that despite the disgusting abuse and even invasion of privacy at home that I’ve dealt with from Whites, all of them lived to tell the tale in a way that Renisha McBride did not, despite her not doing anything as bad as what these Whites have done to me.
First of I feel what happened to renisha McBride is wetting like all people of any gender or race. What I’m mad about in this post is that all white people are called evil and monsters when drunk or not, that to me is also racist I’m white and I feel what this man did was wrong and indecent, but it is wrong to put all white people together, yes some white people are assholes but first look at their income and their social status before saying all white people are dicks when drunk
I am so sick of White people like this. SICK. I asked these people in every single post on Renisha McBride that if this is the only thought that they can produce—garbage like this above—to stay away from me and keep their concerns on their own blog. I am sick of petulant, entitled, ignorant, irritant, anti-critical thinking, wouldn’t know history or nuance if it knocked on their front door Whites shoving their nonsense into my space. And yes, I know a part of their disgusting entitlement includes their belief that they have a “right” to any space or conversation online as well. Digital micro-imperialists.
I already addressed this person’s pathetic comment in the original post; there was no reason for this person to come to a post where we’re discussing the murder of Renisha McBride to add this comment mentioned above. This below is from my same post that this person added the comment:
And since a part of White supremacy includes the toddler-like nature that many Whites approach race with, all of your derailment and excuses are covered here so no need to add them to my post: I don’t care if “all” Whites are not like this; no I am not the “real” racist; no, Black people aren’t racist towards you; no, racism isn’t just insults; no, this incident is not isolated; no, this is not about drones or President Obama—mentioned as a way for you to erase what has happened here; no this is not about the White supremacist label “Black on Black” crime that you think Black people are “happy” about, when most crime is intraracial (including “White on White” crime) and Black people who harm Whites pay heavily when Whites who harm Black people do not; and no, this is not about some “generic” issue where “anyone” is capable of doing badly. Race cannot be erased from a history that used our blood as its ink for its story.
I am tired of even having to write a disclaimer on my posts because your White supremacist petulance includes a lack of critical thinking, lack of boundaries, repetition of easily refuted derailment and a lack of self-control. I am…tired. I cannot even have a conversation on something like this—which is so stressful already—without having to address bigots every step of the way. Fuck you for this.
Please notice that this person is more concerned about how Whites are perceived when drunk (though they want to justify her death because she drank that night; I talked about this in the original post) than the fact that this 19 year old young Black woman, Renisha McBride is dead. This person ignored my tweets in the original post about abuse from Whites and the link where I described when a White woman invaded my home and lived to tell the tale—I did not shoot her in the head. Most of all, the murder of Renisha McBride by Theodore Wafer (now charged with 2nd degree murder after protests, calls and vigils; charge had not occurred when my previous posts were published; charge doesn’t mean an actual conviction or sentencing either, but we already know this) is in essence weighted equally to "but not all Whites are bad drunks." The words “dick,” “evil” and “monster” do not even exist in my original post. That’s this person’s own White guilt being projected into my space to derail my post. Even with a disclaimer added to every single post to keep these people away from my space, this person still decided to post this and ignore the fact that all of their ignorance was pre-addressed.
I am disgusted by the collective sociopathy that is the foundation of White supremacy just as much as anti-Blackness is the foundation of White supremacy. Their inability to empathize, to critically think, to be introspective and to understand things in terms of an institutional/systems view instead of solely via external individualism remains a plague. The only time a “collective” view enters their perspective is if White “feelings” are on the line, not Black lives. Since Whites like this cannot listen to words that do not come from other Whites, here’s a quote about this petulant ignorance that accompanies White supremacy, and it’s a quote from a White woman!` Maybe they can read these words then!
White people’s number one freedom in the United States of America is the freedom to be totally ignorant about those who are other than White. We don’t have to learn about those who are other than White. And our number two freedom is the freedom to deny that we’re ignorant.
Recognize that White supremacy allows a White person to think that their feelings about not being recognized as individuals—something they deny Black people regularly through racism and White supremacy—is more important than a Black person’s actual life.
And no, I don’t have to modify my tone. And no, a more pleasant tone will not bring Renisha McBride back so don’t you dare reply with tone policing. And no, it will not “help my cause” more by kissing White asses because racism is also YOUR ISSUE as someone White. It is not some amorphous thing that solely involves Black people with no accountability from you.
Bethany Arceneaux, a 29 year old Black woman (not sure if she ID’s as Cajun, ethnically) from Louisiana, was kidnapped by her ex-partner Scott Thomas and was beaten, stabbed and dealt with unspeakable psychological trauma. She’s also the mother of a 2 year old. I had a feeling that this incident was not the first time that he abused her. 20-something Black women are 11x more likely to be murdered while pregnant or in the year after giving birth versus White women and have very high rates of experiencing domestic violence. As it turns out, there was an order of protection but as many women can attest to, that does not stop an abuser.
It was not the police who rescued her from what must have been hell. It was her uncle and her family. (Her ex was shot and killed.) Naturally, as I expected, two responses that I hate have surfaced: people who now are upset about “vigilante” justice (yet they cheer for George Zimmerman murdering a teen that he followed and fought) and those who presume that being “saved” as a woman is automatically anti-feminist.
In reference to the anti-vigilante stance, I think what Sydette Harry (@Blackamazon) tweeted sums this right up for me:
Vigilante justice is vigilante if you’re operating in a system that does justice for you. Otherwise it’s just justice.
I don’t even want to run down how the system is purposely constructed for the minimum protection of Black people and the maximum punishment of Black people, or even discuss the intersectional issues involved in Black men being held extremely culpable for being victims (ahem…Trayvon Martin went on trial, not George Zimmerman), let alone assailants against Whites and other Black men but ignored when they harm Black women because Marissa Alexander's case alone reflects this. But I am truly bothered by women (ahem…White) who cannot understand why a Black woman being murdered (Renisha McBride) or one rescued from being kidnapped are feminist issues. But then they would have to consider womanhood outside of Whiteness and the history of feminism reveals why that is virtually impossible for many of them.
See, this idea that “all” protection must be rejected because it is anti-feminist is a LUXURY of White women who are alway deemed worthy of protection in the first place. Kind of like how they want beauty conversation and beauty politics placed on the back burner in feminist discourse despite the fact that hegemonic conceptions of beauty are conveniently Eurocentric and purposely excludes most Black women. All White privilege. Anyway, I’ll restate what I mentioned on Twitter yesterday:
Kudos, hugs, Black Love and all that to the Black men who SAVED Bethany Arceneaux. No one saves Black women. Being deemed worthy of LIFE isn’t ‘anti-feminist.’ Some people seem to think that saving someone you love means then people must have a right to dominate them. Saving life ≠ approve of patriarchal domination. When you protect someone you love, you’re saying 'your life matters to me. You are valuable.' Such protection can exist without domination. For White women being the boilerplate example of women, worth being saved, to be cherished, it’s easy for them to reject someone risking their life to save them. Now I don’t ask Black men for anything at all, like ever. But if some want to save a Black woman that they love, who the fuck are you to judge? Oh and they rescued her from an abuser versus ignoring her being abused and siding with the man out of patriarchal loyalty. This is a feminist act! One more thing. ‘Protection’ isn’t solely about a man physically rescuing a woman. Black women DAILY sacrifice for Black men to protect them from the criminal justice system/Prison Industrial Complex.
Black women who raise sons alone and work and give up their dreams to make sure that they have what they need. Black women who refuse to report domestic violence or rape because they are more worried about what the system will do to Black men than they are their own safety and lives, and they know the system devalues both Black men and Black women anyway. Black women who ignore the pain of street harassment because they are more worried about Black men being stereotyped as misogynists than they are worried about their own health, safety and self-esteem. Black women who TURN UP for Black men ANYTIME one is abused or slain via police brutality, even though they know this support may never be reciprocated. Black women who turn up (with no statistical match) at elections to support Black male candidates and any progressive candidate who might create laws to improve Black people’s lives, let alone Black men’s lives. Black women who ignore the sexism and abuse in the Church (or fight it while remaining in that space) and make sure that the Church is a place that can help Black people. Black women who at times put Black women’s issues to a back burner to focus on the issues of Black men. And this is all before I even evoke names like Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman, Ida B. Wells, Shirley Chisholm and the like.
And this heroism sometimes comes at a price that is too goddamn high for Black women. Sometimes Black men take this for granted and view any self-care or Black women’s focus on other Black women as a “betrayal” to Black men and the whole race. Well, this whole race won’t exist if Black women are zapped of physical and emotional energy (or our actual lives) and are not allowed to care for ourselves. We are human beings, not Strong Black Woman stereotypes.
Black women BEEN Black men’s heroes. BEEN. Ain’t nothing wrong with a few Black men being a Black woman’s hero now and again. And Bethany’s life matters; she deserved to be saved. With higher rates of domestic violence and rape than White women while simultaneously being deemed not as valuable as White women, “unrapeable” and disposable, yes, our lives can be saved too. They matter too. This is not a place for feminist rhetoric battles where “theories” of safety and protection versus is it “too patriarchal” matter. This ain’t a goddamn film. This is life. Survival matters first.
We live in a society where intraracial and interracial violence eviscerates Black women. Our survival (and existing and most importantly, living) matters and is a core element of my womanist thinking and praxis. Knowing that protection and love can exist without domination (though I don’t personally expect protection from Black men, to be very honest) even though some men don’t understand this, and that there is a specific history for Black women that is NOT White women’s history or lives doesn’t make me anti-feminist; it makes me a womanist. Wanting to LIVE doesn’t make me patriarchal; it makes me human.
Yes. SELF-PRESERVATION matters most. You can’t fight racism if you aren’t alive. And as Black women, we are on our own in terms of safety, so we have every right to place our own safety and self-presevation first (assuming we aren’t parents; most place kids first but I still say place mom first; if mom is hurt, kids will hurt; that’s why).
Drunk White males = hell no; avoid like the fucking plague if possible. Then was not the time to try to teach them a lesson about racism. You could be harmed very badly and the system will stand behind those men and not you. I am glad that you and your friends are safe. So important.
Though statistically women are usually harmed by men of their own race (with the exception of Indigenous women who are usually harmed by White men when it comes to rape), White men harming a Black woman becomes laughable in court. (A friend just told me about a Latina she knows of assaulted by two White men, on camera, with evidence, and walked. WALKED. No conviction.) They really do not care about what happens to women of colour. So again, I am glad that your situation did not go badly though no matter what, those men, not you, are culpable for their own actions.
You know, I wrote that “live to fight another day" post for that person but really though, I was preaching to myself. I am stubborn as fuck and need to listen to my own advice! We cannot and don’t have to fight every single occurrence of racism (which doesn’t mean become 100% complacent either) because we have to be able to live too. Live our lives as human beings worthy of love and laughter and all of the good things about life as well.
Thanks so much for the blog love hun! I appreciate you. Take care.
Quote is from her essay Stay Black, Die on Ebony. To answer that first question, yes, to most Whites we look “different” and not as people (at all) worth empathy. Research has shown that they empathize less with us, do not take our pain seriously, feel that we can handle more pain than other people and view our bodies in public space or near them as an immediate threat. And that last sentence, when she gets to the part about how a White woman would be treated makes me see RED since I wrote about a White woman invading my home and property and calling me “rude,” yet lived to tell the tale versus Renisha McBride simply needing help and was executed.
About a month ago during the daytime, I heard a knock at my front door. I ignored it because that is what I usually do. Chronic phone call and door knock ignorer. Chalk it up to being an INTJ; chalk it up to not giving a fuck, I don’t care. Sometimes it’s not for me because I don’t live alone (though I sure miss those days, as I recently mentioned). I did not hear a second knock so I assumed the person left. However, that is not what happened. I heard the door open and a head immediately stuck in. I jumped up frightened and was ready to fight if I had to. A random White woman that I don’t know stuck her fucking head into my house, saw me and then backed out.
Now the door was closed, but unlocked. I understand that from this first paragraph alone, the victim blamers have realized, "hey, a Black woman is talking about a violation by a White woman, where the latter is deemed more socially valuable, thereby I must blame this incident on the Black woman without hearing any further details." Get the fuck off of my blog if that’s your framework. No one has a right to open a residence that they don’t live in. It’s covered by the law; the law that seems to never apply when a Black person is the victim.
I got up, immediately ran to the door and asked her what in the sam hill fuck does she think she is doing? She stuttered and said “oh I was looking for ____” (a person I and no one else I know knows). I advised her that such a person does not live here and expected this entitled barnacle to apologize and get the fuck away from the residence. After all, she did just invade a private residence where theoretically by castle doctrine I should have been able to blow her fucking head off, but I would never do that. I would never want to kill a person unless attacked first and had no choice. But I am human and I view even the most slovenly disgusting piece of filth White person as human too. But even the best of us they don’t view as truly human. This is White supremacy.
Now, I would have gladly slapped the shit out of her ass for this and really should have. But no. I didn’t. I did not lay a hand on this woman. She could have easily harmed me. She had the physical (bigger than me) and positional (standing, near a door, I am cornered inside; she could’ve easily pointed a weapon at me) advantage. But see, I am Black. My skin, my race, my life is deemed an automatic weapon. Never mind that Black women by every story and statistic and history that exists have not harmed White women and definitely not White men in the way that they have harmed us. Yet we are deemed weapons by default. Dangerous by default.
She then asked if anyone I live with knows this person. So the woman did not leave yet. I called and checked. No one knew. I told her this. She then demanded I allow her to use my cell phone to speak to them herself. I told her to get the fuck out of my face and away from the residence. In typical White woman fashion, she proceeded to call me “rude.” I then raised my voice and she scurried away to her car.
So let’s review. I was home (and home unwell at that; was dealing with PTSD symptoms) in a private residence minding my own goddamn business. A White woman that I don’t know and no one that I know knows knocked on my door. The White woman opened it, shoved her head in to look around and was startled to see me there. She made up a person I should know. I didn’t know the person and no one I know did. She refused to leave at first. She called me “rude” after breaking the law and disrespecting me without even providing a sincere apology.
Oh and…she LIVES to do this again, or anything else she wants with her disrespectful and entitled mayonnaise life.
Meanwhile Renisha McBride just needed some help. Did not enter anyone’s home and overstay her welcome in their yard and demand a phone and call anyone rude, yet was murdered. Executed. If I would have laid a single hand on this White woman, I would be at the jail 20 minutes away from my home and awaiting trial. I would be the one “threatening” her pure White womanhood, despite her being the one being rude and violating laws.
Black women, cis and trans, have to deal with the notion that our fear isn’t real and only White women and even White men can be “afraid.” (Black men deal with this too; the idea that they cannot actually be afraid or harmed and can only harm others.) And the fact that in Renisha’s case, a White man can claim “fear” also reveals the misogynoir that Black women face; disconnected from womanhood even within patriarchy where theoretically men aren’t “afraid” of women. Yet Black women face everything White women face for being women and much more than White women can ever fathom. The same issues Sojourner Truth challenged in 1851 shapes this case in 2013. I am tired of White supremacy. Tired.
And before you come to this post with standard White supremacist derailment, click her linked name above. Read the post there and the one connected to it. Spare me the derailment that usually includes victim blaming, claiming Black people “don’t care” about intraracial crime, pretending racism-motivated murders supported by the State are just isolated incidents and not institutional, mentioning drones as a way to ignore the war Black people live with here and connect it to Obama being Black thereby excusing the role of White supremacy that pre-dates him in office, or anything else. Save it. Not here. Not today. Not ever, really.