Life Is But A Dream - Beyoncé’s Documentary on HBO

I finally got a chance to view Life Is But A Dream, Beyoncé’s documentary about her life and career, which originally premiered on Saturday, February 16, 2013 at 9:00pm on HBO. I also watched the episode of Oprah’s Next Chapter that featured them chatting about the documentary.

Oprah’s Next Chapter

Just watching this interview was incredible—two incredibly beautiful, talented and successful Black women, of different generations, with some overlap in values, but different outcomes. I don’t think either is less or more feminist than the other; one chose marriage and motherhood. The other chose romantic connection without marriage and motherhood-by proxy, to her brilliant girls at her academy, OWLAG (whom she calls her daughters).

I like that Oprah mentioned that her girls stated that they felt that Beyoncé is just like them. While Oprah and Beyoncé specifically mentioned their class privilege differences, and specifically acknowledged this, the emotional experiences that they share as women and as Black women are obviously ones that Oprah’s girls could relate to.

I like that Beyoncé discussed how meaningful motherhood is to her during this interview. Here is another thing that Black women are often shamed for—loving the concept of mothering their OWN children. (I’ve written bout this before, in relation to such shaming being hoisted at Michelle Obama.) The fact that she feels fully connected to herself because of motherhood and Oprah feels that same way without being a biological mother seems like the epitome of a feminist choice (for heterosexual women). What is feminism without choices and the agency to make them?

“You balance being the fierce, independent woman with obviously a woman who adores and loves her man.” - Oprah

“I would not be the woman I am if I did not go home to that man.” - Beyoncé

I find no problem with either of their quotes, because for a heterosexual woman, rejecting romantic love is not automatically indicative of empowerment. For some women, it has an important place in their lives, makes them feel good and makes them strong, not weak. All forms of genuine love does this. I am not interested in a feminism where love (and all forms, not solely romantic) is not welcome. It’s the building block for everything.

Life Is But A Dream

I deeply enjoyed this film. I shared some pre-thoughts about the film, before I saw it, and I mentioned if it wasn’t revealing that I would feel somewhat disappointed, as to me, that is the point of such a film. In those pre-thoughts, I also mentioned an article where the author did not like the film, but I didn’t feel that the person not liking the film put them in anti-stan or misery category per se.

However, after seeing the film, I think that author is just way off. I felt NOTHING “diva” or “cog” about the film. It felt so genuinely honest, emotional, reflective, introspective and personal. I saw a Black woman exposing her true self and this is very dangerous to do, rich/famous or not, in a world where we are the least loved. I think the film was brave. She didn’t have to make it.

I didn’t view the film as a long extended career promo as some people have suggested. It makes sense that in a film about an artist, their music is a part of the film. It REALLY made sense, more than ever, since each song shared seemed to deeply connect to her life, and music for her, is a way to work through those issues and express those emotions, in addition to it being a product for public consumption. I am a visual artist and I can relate to this dichotomy.

I especially felt emotional watching the parts where she discussed the difficult relationship with her father. I don’t think it is a coincidence that  her love seemed to deepen for Jay-Z during the time the relationship with her father fell apart. I think having a positive male energy in her life matters to her—this doesn’t necessarily make her weak or patriarchal.

I love how much she spoke about women and dealing with unfairness, empowerment and friendship. While Beyoncé, like many women, straddles the fence at times regarding portraying feminist ideals, challenging patriarchy at some turns yet affirming it at others, she seems to have a genuine love for women that can be seen in her relationships with her mother/Solange/Kelly/Michelle, when she speaks of memories of her grandmother, the women she works with, and her amazing band. While some “feminist heroes” are being worshiped for having all-White television shows, Beyoncé had one of the most powerful odes to women, Black/women of colour and White, on that Super Bowl stage.

I love that she said this:

“I love my husband, but it’s nothing like a conversation with a woman that understands you. I grow so much from those conversations. I need my sisters.” - Beyoncé

I know that’s right! While I have been single for some years now, even back when I was in relationships—very good ones, I HAD to call up my best friend to talk. I had to spend time with my 5 sisters. Honestly, when she said this, she made me think of Toni Morrison and Alice Walker:

“The loneliest woman in the world is the woman without a close woman friend.” - Toni Morrison

“Is solace anywhere more comforting than that in the arms of a sister.” - Alice Walker

My favorite parts of the film were the ones with her nephew Julez, when she and Jay-Z were singing to each other (I got choked up…though I like them as a couple, this was the first time that they evoked that from me), the home video of her, Kelly and Michelle playing around and singing Kyle Minogue’s song and the adorable moments with Blue Ivy. I really loved the ending of the film with her family members around the table. Though the story is a focus on her life, it’s also a portrait of a Black American family.

Beyoncé is a really beautiful person. I leave this film with a greater impression of who she is and liking her more than I already did.

Oprah, OWN and Tyler Perry (Sigh…)

Despite disappointment over past collaborations between Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry, despite knowing that OWN as a channel is struggling financially and with ratings, despite knowing that Oprah is desperate to keep her channel going as her next venture in life (and though she admitted to J.K. Rowling that she is not “competing” with her past successes—this is actually hard to do in practice), and despite knowing that ultimately, networks as businesses look for what is easy and profitable—the least common denominator among its audience, I still feel  disappointed that the first scripted shows to come to OWN are going to be more of these Tyler Perry comedies. I find them exhausting. Like physically. I see a commercial for one on TBS and energy is lost. (Well…emotionally, intellectually, culturally and sociopolitically as well—exhausting.)

And, though this means that Black people will be on TV, someone Black is producing them and someone Black owns the channel that they will be on, this is not a true success to me.

Success isn’t just Black people being there. It’s a question of is what is being done meaningful while there? It’s both sides of the coin. Well…to me. (Again, to me. I realize that for some, success = $ + marginalization of Black people as a bonus.)

In other words—for example, I don’t applaud when I see someone Black in a TV commercial, despite there being a time when that would have never occured. I applaud when someone Black is in a TV commercial and is portrayed as a dynamic, thinking, human being—not a caricature of one or a stereotypical archetype, and is portraying a product in a way that makes me want to consider the product as a consumer, versus just feeling offended and boycotting the company. For me, I need BOTH parts. And, I understand that everyone doesn’t. I get that only the first part is sufficient for some. Just because I “get it” doesn’t mean it is not bothersome.

I never really connected to OWN as a channel. I do like Oprah’s Next Chapter (well…most of the interviews) and her Master Class series. I’ve never really enjoyed anything else on the channel.

I still love Oprah as an interviewer. That’s her thing…really connecting to people 1-on-1 and allowing them to reveal their humanity—hideous flaws and shining lights. But as a channel owner or a channel that I feel connects to/reflects me? NO. Not at all. But then again, maybe that was never her intent anyway.

(I love what a fellow Tumblr blogger, Son of Baldwin, wrote about the THREE things WE need to consider when we think about Black people and media. He wrote it specifically about Black women and casting, but I think it can be expanded when we think about what exactly we are cheering about and desiring in media…and why.)

Related Posts: Why I Don’t Like Tyler Perry’s Work, Oprah’s Next Chapter: Gabrielle Douglas, Oprah’s Next Chapter: Rihanna, Why I Like Oprah’s Next Chapter

Why I Like Oprah’s Next Chapter

Though I don’t watch a lot of shows on Oprah’s new channel OWN, I do like the show Oprah’s Next Chapter—a show where Oprah interviews various public figures. People seem slightly more real and human when they are chatting with her.

Her interview with the Governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie, made him seem like much more than some loud, over the top drama king GOP caricature. He was very human…especially when he described his struggle with his weight. (I think it is interesting that male weight is now being focused on. I hear endless fat jokes about him and Newt Gingrich…not that this means that women’s weight is no longer attacked.) I still don’t care for him or his political views, but it was interesting watching the layers of the onion peeled away…so to speak. I don’t think any typical conservative interview on Fox News could have had this effect. (I don’t watch that channel anyway…it makes me ill.)

Her interview with Cory Booker made me understand how his world-famous Obama surrogacy slip up on Meet The Press had some context. He went through a brutal and painful election process in New Jersey where he dealt with the “you are not Black enough” insult. (Someone actually drove by in a van and yelled that out of a loudspeaker at him! Damn! Thus, he has genuine distaste for even a speck of negative campaigning. This interview, though shown after his Meet The Press slip up, was actually filmed prior to his Meet The Press appearance.) Every Black person I associate with gets this insult hurled at them (from other Black people) whenever they date interracially, finish college, do any hobby that is not “approved” of (i.e. ski, travel, ballroom dance). What is so weird is that SO MANY Black people do these aforementioned things (such as the hobbies) that to me, they are in fact just “regular” things that some Black people do. This isn’t to say that people themselves should be above critique (substantive and contextual), but if the sole critique is policing Blackness based on a singular activity, accent, or romantic partner—come on. That get’s old…fast. (And if people call Booker “not Black” because of his Wall Street connects or resume…they need to look into other Black political candidates. They aren’t as “down” and as cool as some think. They’re still politicians.) Anyway, I am not saying I applaud his Meet The Press incident and the later YouTube cleanup video—I think the whole thing was a mess, but this interview with Oprah simply helped me understand why this occured, with some context.

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